KarmaBites

Karma♥Bites’s Mercurial Reads

Eclectic, cross-genre mood reader (but of late, mostly erotica, romance & para/UF—including m/m & ménage).  At times, the realities of life & work tend to dictate how UNreal a world I choose for an escape.

Fair warning:  I may walk like a lady but I cuss like a salty sailor. ^.~




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Review: “Temptations” by Kristen Michelle Thomas

Temptations (Temptations, #1) - Kristin Michelle Adams

*** UPDATE @ 02-MAR-2013 ***

 

AUTHOR: "As of February 28th Connor has been edited by Joni Payne."

ME: Joni Payne should be fired. No. Just "no".

 

 

*** ORIGINAL REVIEW @ 25-JAN-2013 ***

 

Sorry but... DNF at page 2.

I never thought I would ever DNF a book so quickly. But it's true—there truly is a first time for everything.

If you don't believe me, click on the cover and use Amazon's "Look Inside" function (or download a sample) and read the very first paragraph. The book's poor writing speaks for itself better than any review posted here.

Other reviews have noted basically the same thing so I'll limit myself to the following:
(1) Commas and periods have a purpose. Please learn it and use them.
(2) There are basic rules to fiction writing which can be found via a quick Google search. At the very least, look at some books to see how dialogue is supposed to be written.
(3) A bride wears a "veil", NOT "vail". (And no, it's generally not capitalized unless it begins a sentence or refers to Vail, Colorado.)

The above is not meant to be "mean" or belittle but TO HELP this writer. Very few people will bother with any story if the writing is so careless that the reader must work to figure out the sentences.

Frankly, it's insulting to readers to publish something so shoddily written. But readers can look elsewhere because there are plenty of other books. So really, in the end, it's the writer's reputation which suffers from output such as this book (while continuing to make things difficult for other SPAs).

(Sorry, Secret Book Claus(e), but my reading time is too precious. Feel free to pick another one for me.)

 

 

*** UPDATE @ 09-FEB-2013 ***

 

The author left a comment on my review that this book had been "edited" but later deleted it. Then on Feb 8th, she left a similar comment on my Ammy review.

Based on a cursory check of the first several paragraphs (via the "Look Inside" function), the only apparent change is that "Vail" has been corrected to "veil". Thus everything in my original review stands, except for that one correction.

In its current state, this book is not fit for publication, much less for sale. (I won't even go into the separate issue of writing technique.) Read at your own risk.

 

 

*** UPDATE @ 12-FEB-2013 (and rev. 19-Feb) ***

 

An F&F by the username of Melissa Cheeks had the cheek to pass judgment on my review, asserting that I was "rude". Then the so-called "author" showed up and called me a "bully". Well, excuse the feck out of me for not being a blithering sheep and having minimum standards re: books.

I'll save everyone the trouble of a few clicks and post the VERY FIRST PARAGRAPH of this book (which was supposedly "edited" as of Feb 5th). Then people can decide for themselves—if they care to even read far enough to get to my original review. Or hit the Ammy link and take a peek at the other reviews.

KMA - Sample of Chap1 photo KMA-SampleofChap1_zps4069e220.jpg

Well done. Always a great thing to piss off a reader who only needs to point to the author's own product to prove a point.